Tribute to My Mom

Betty Faye McDade was born July 21, 1946 to Helen and Charles McDade.  My mom was an extra-ordinary woman - to me she was the definition of grace, style, strength, dignity and beauty.

I remember it like it was yesterday... In December 2000 - I was a senior in college at Texas Wesleyan University and was working at Dillard's (a department store).  It was a quiet and slow night...as I prepared to close down my area I heard the phone ring.  One of my co-workers answered and said to me "Shameya...Your mom is on the phone".  I thought to myself... Why is my mom calling me at work...she never calls me at work?  After a brief greeting and small talk...she said, "Baby...Your mom has cancer."  Everything around me went silent and my life STOPPED!!!  I dropped the phone as tears started to flow down my face uncontrollably.

After a few seconds - I gathered myself as best I could and asked "Mom...what did you say?"  In a way that only she could - she said "Baby...Mommy has Breast Cancer, but I am going to be okay...Your mom has lived a great life!"  Needless to say I had to leave work, because the tears continued to flow down my face and I was an emotional wreck.  All I wanted was to stop by a drug store and pick up some meds that cure my mom and just make it go away.

Over the next few years my mom and I grew even closer and things with her condition were starting to look up... After a lengthy treatment which included surgery, cancer treatments, and a whole lot of prayer - the doctors could not find any more cancer.  I knew she was going to fight it, because she was such a strong woman and had overcome every obstacle she had faced.

Well...Cancer just gave us a break and gave me a little more time with my mom.  In 2005/2006 (approximately) - Cancer had reappeared but this time in her liver. She would now have to fight metastatic breast cancer.  But that is okay - the Doctor would remove a section of her liver and she would be cancer free again.  Well only part of that is true...

The Doctor went in with the intent to remove the cancerous section of the liver, but they found her liver had been consumed by tumors.  The Doctor pulled me to a private room and said..."We are sorry...We could not operate, because when we entered - it was worst than we thought. Her liver is covered with tumors...Your mom will die of cancer ...there is nothing we can do."  At that point they gave my mom less than a year to live. That was the absolutely WORST day of my life - I grew to be numb and angry at the world...I became very hateful.

After surgery - My mom looked at me and asked "What's wrong baby...did they get it all?"  With all of the strength I could find within me...all I could say was..."Mom everything is fine...everything is going to be just fine."

My mom continued to LIVE with cancer, retiring from a job that she worked for over 20 years, only to go right back to work with the same agency the following week taking on a more challenging role with an even bigger case load.   For those that did not know her well, and the many did could not believe she was living and working with cancer!!!  She never complained.  She always  bore a smile, possessed the most contagious laugh, and wore her high heel shoes with every outfit...  My mother was indeed a Diva who refused to let this terrible disease bring her down.

In 2012 - her body stop responding to medication and she was becoming really tired.  I was stopping by before work and during lunch to check on her...when one morning something just did not seem right.  She was slurring her words and seemed very lethargic.  I called the Doctor's office and they advised we come in as soon as possible - it could be that her calcium is just low.  I picked up my mom and headed to the hospital.  As sick as she was - she was still smiling and joking with every nurse/Doctor that entered into the emergency room. After coming to the hospital in the past and leaving...to me this was just going to be another brief visit.

Well...they admitted my mom and gave her some pain meds the day we entered on 3/11/2012 and the following day she went into a deep sleep. Our last conversation was her telling me what she wanted me to get her for breakfast: oatmeal, toast, ham, scrambled eggs, and orange juice.  She passed away on 3/24/2012.

The last weeks of my Mom's life was the hardest time for me...if I could have laid next to her and fallen asleep with her...I would have.  There was nothing I wanted more than for my Mommy to wake up and to go home...but God had a different plan.

I would be lying if I would say it is easy to talk about now...it is not...it does not get easier...I am just learning how to live without my Mom.  She was my everything and I lost a piece of me when she passed.

I can now say to you if you have loved ones - Love them..appreciate them!  If you have loved ones with cancer...have patience, be supportive, laugh with them, hug them, appreciate every day, and most importantly, do not sweat the small stuff.

In loving memory of Betty "Betty Boop" Faye.